my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
