this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
