Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
