i don't plan on having that self control this summer
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
