Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
