carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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