How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
