redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
whose parrot is this?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
