im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
