just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
