And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
