Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
