I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
