Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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