I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In other news, I just burned my penis
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
