After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
