my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
