Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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