Plan B is the new Plan A
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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