He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
