you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
