I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
