Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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