Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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