I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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