dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
