We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
