the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
