I think I am morally bankrupt
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
