my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
