I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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