This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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