hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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