butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
