Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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