They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
no, he came in my armpit
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
