4 words: hood of his car
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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