All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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