I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This baby is an asshole
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
