worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
