I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Randomize
