I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
