Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
