Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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