I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
