Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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