i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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