I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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