too bad you live with your parents still
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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