Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
