so explain again why im purple
no
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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