porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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