I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
