I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
