If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
