I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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