so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
