Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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