if you like me you must not know who I am
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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