Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
