you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
