If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
