What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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