dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
