I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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