So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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