i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
